Dear Minneapolis Airport Security Official:
Now that the ban on liquids, gels and paste-like substances has been (mostly) lifted, are you at all sorry for confiscating and destroying my $14 lip gloss? I realize it's pretty ridiculous to have purchased such an expensive cosmetic item but my only excuse was that the lip gloss was so very, very pretty. When you threw it in the trash and watched me cry (really), did you have nothing kind to impart to me that might have soothed my angry and disheartened soul, torn in two by the desire for our country's safety versus my own love of lip gloss? This week, at my own hometown airport, two male airport security guards took pity on me when I (again) forgot that I had "liquids" (if mascara can be considered a liquid) in my carry-on bag and let me leave the gate to check it in my suitcase. The woman at the counter even pulled my already-checked suitcase back out of the airplane to accommodate me. How does their unselfish service compare to your treatment? There really is no need to reply to this letter. I think we both know the answer.
The woman who cried as you took her lip gloss last week