I Ain't Missing You At All

My boys have always been very independent from me. It may just be their natures. It may have come from me working outside the home from the time they were babies. We've been blessed to have incredible childcare for the two of them in the form of Miss Ashley and Miss Jessica, who have nannied for the boys forever. J&N have felt secure at home and yet have also ventured out into the world with people other than their parents. They can be shy when meeting new people but, for the most part, they tend to be comfortable in new situations and love new challenges. (Remind me sometime to write up the high-dive story...ugh.)

When they have gone to stay with grandparents for the weekend, J&N have never had problems with missing me or Byron while staying overnight. That independence even extends to where they don't even want to talk to us on the phone. Even when I beg. Fine.

Until this time. My mom and stepdad just took the boys back to Memphis for the week to spend a vacation at Grandma's house. They've got their cousin Baby Erik to play with (who is now 4 and surely not a baby any more, even though we'll probably call him that until he's 24) and lots of fun activities planned for the week. They will have every whim and wish fulfilled immediately, I have no doubt.

So why now, of all times, did they both break down and cry on the way to Grandma's house because they missed me? Ugh. I never knew how good I had it before. They both act like crazy ungrateful fit-throwing boys all day for me - and then drive to Grandma's house and are so upset. It just breaks my heart. Nathan even told me on the phone that he just loves me so much and he wishes he could be with me. Do you think I cried too? Oh yes I did.

Both Byron and my good friend Brooks, whose family was on the trip with us and witnessed the fit-throwing meltdowns all day yesterday (along with plenty of smiles too), said the boys were just tired and I was tired and we'd all be fine tomorrow. We had spent the entire day at The City Museum (the MOST WONDERFUL PLACE ON EARTH, seriously, go there now). When I said that the boys never missed us before, Brooks asked if I always sent my children to their grandparents' house completely exhausted, high on sugar and ready to endure a 4-hour car ride. Hmmmm...I guess that's true.

Today is a new day, and hopefully with a full night of sleep and some banana pancakes from Grandpa, they'll be feeling brave and independent again. At least I will cross my fingers...Memphis is an eight hour drive each way.

The Trouble with Phonetics

The boys are reading really, really, REALLY well. As in - they read entire books all by themselves. They read everything by themselves. And I do mean everything. It's a new found power they have discovered, just another step toward the day when they head out the door to live their own lives. (Sigh.)

Byron took them to Sonic for ice cream a few nights ago. As they were sitting in the drive-through, Jack asked, "Dad, what's a 'happy whore'?"

Byron choked. "Uh, what's a what?"

Jack replied, "What's a 'happy whore'? There - on that sign."

Byron read the sign. "That says 'happy hour'."

But it's good they can read....

It's Summer

Well, maybe not officially, but with temperatures hitting 98 this week, it sure feels like it.

This is the last summer the boys have at home before officially starting their school journey. I'm a little sad at nearing the end of our time with our nanny but I know the boys are ready for school and to grow up. It's like knowing you have to wave goodbye to Mary Poppins - we love our Miss Jessica that much!

So they are going to spend the summer with her having fun. They've been doing the pool already and playing in the backyard. Erin is spending the day with them today, so that adds a little more excitement to a day at home.

In other news, Byron is in Key West this week for his guys-only scuba diving trip. I'm only a tiny bit jealous. The boys have been cooperative for the most part but are missing their dad.

Revelation

The other morning the boys asked me how long it was until their birthday. I answered and then heard silence. And then Nathan said, "Jack! When we are 6, we'll be almost 7!!"

(I put in the exclamation points because that's how they talk these days. With exclamation points.)

(That is, unless I tell them I can't hear them, at which point, inexplicably, they talk even more quietly. Go figure.)

Nuptials

Nathan: When I'm ready to get married, I'm going to ask all of my girlfriends to line up in a sideways line and then I will say eeny-meeny-miney-moe and that's the one I'll get married to.

Christmas Cheer

So is everyone ready for the holidays? Is anyone else sick of that question?

We are ready, at least as ready as we can be with two 5-year-olds who believe that writing a Christmas list to Santa means Santa will be bringing everything on that list. Including a go-kart (real-life-sized). This despite the normal rounds of repeated tantrums and whining and general rowdy craziness that ensues when two boys try to outdo each other in the volume department.

Nathan has started a new type of temper tantrum whenever he "loses" at something - Wii Sports, UNO, whatever. He throws down whatever he's got in his hands (Wii remotes, cards, etc) and then STOMPS off to his room, shouting at the top of his LUNGS that THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER and that he is THE WORST PLAYER EVER and he cries and stomps some more and slams the door repeatedly. We've learned mainly to ignore him because it's just too funny. And kind of sad, yes. Because he really is the WORST PLAYER EVER. (Not really.)

His pre-school teacher once commented about the boys' perfectionist streak (i.e. crying and insisting on starting all over whenever they messed up writing their names) and I told her that it was because we made them do things over and over and over and over again until they got it right. And as she paused in horror to absorb what I had said, I realized that it didn't sound as funny when it came out as it did in my head. Teachers don't like to think you are mentally abusing your children apparently. Noted.

Jack has fits that are much more quiet by comparison, and yet, not any less annoying. Our only threat to both of them has the been the ubiquitous SANTA-IS-WATCHING-YOU threat. And what will I do after Thursday?

There have been many sweet moments as the boys are finally (after 5 years on earth) realize what Christmas is all about - and of course I mean secrets and presents. They each picked a present for the other, and it's been the biggest challenge to convince them to keep the secret from each other. Then they have some kind of secret with Miss Jessica (our nanny) that I'm sure will be unveiled later this evening when we do our Christmas with her and Miss Ashley. Nathan has told me "It's NOT a nativity set." (That really threw me off track.)

Original Jokes (and a Public Service Announcement)

Nathan: "Mommy, want to hear a joke I made up?"

Me: "Of course!"

Nathan: "Knock, knock."

Me: "Who's there?"

Nathan: "Pants."

Me: "Pants who?"

Nathan: "Pants aren't you glad I didn't say underpants again?"

Me: "???"

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(And another original, this time from Jack.)

Jack: "What is a skeleton's nickname?"

Me: "I don't know."

Jack: "A skulleton."

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(On their way to Chuck E. Cheese's for lunch...)

Nathan: "Yay! That place has games and rides!"

Jack: "And they're a proud sponsor of PBS Kids!"

Language Lessons

Nathan: "Daddy, what's a windshield?"

Byron: "Well, break the word apart. What's wind?"

Nathan: "Wind is the air outside."

Byron: "And what's a shield?"

Nathan: "A thing that protects you."

Byron: "So put that together. What's a windshield?"

Nathan: "A thing that protects you from the wind?"

Byron: "Right. Good job."

Nathan: "Daddy, what's a 'doh'?"

Byron: "Like dough to make bread?"

Nathan: "No, a 'doh'. What is it?"

Byron: "Like what Homer Simpson says? He says 'doh' when he's mad."

Nathan: "No, a 'doh'! Like wind-dow!"

Byron: "Oh...Well, that one doesn't work when you try it break it down I guess."

A Helping Hand

This morning I awoke to my boys' voices. I finally deciphered that they were in the bathroom together. But doing what? I wearily pulled myself out of bed and, in the bathroom, found Jack sitting on the toilet and Nathan holding a toddler wipe (like a baby wipe but flushable).

Nathan said to Jack, "But Jack, I know how to do it!"

Then Jack said, "But I don't want you to do it!"

And then I realized what was going on. Nathan was going to wipe Jack's butt.

After shuddering internally for a moment, I replied, "That's very sweet Nathan, but most people don't want someone else to wipe their butt. Unless it's Mommy or Daddy."

Lucky me.

Rico Sauve

Jack: "Mommy, what's a distraction? Miss Katie says we can't cause a distraction."

Mommy: "Well, a distraction is something that keeps someone from doing what they are supposed to be doing."

Jack: "You mean like - hey, your dress is very beautiful."

Mommy: "What? Um, no. Uh, I mean, that's more of a compliment."

Jack (thoughtfully): "Oh."

(I'm not sure what to make of this one. Is he saying this to the girls at school??!! Maybe his teacher has told him that HE'S the distraction. Ugh.)

Birthday Celebrations

So yesterday was my 34th birthday. It started in the morning with my husband leaving for a business trip at 5am, meaning that I would on my own all week. Then the boys got up and told me to come into their room and then close my eyes because they had a surprise for me: they picked out their own clothes and got dressed without help. Now that's a great birthday gift (and I truly mean that). No matter that they were a little under dressed for the weather.

When I got home from work, the boys ecstatically greeted me in the garage, telling me that they were ready to "celebrate!!" They led me inside, each pulling on my arms, to show me the birthday artwork they had made for me. Miss Jessica had spelled out H-A-P-P-Y B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y in large open letters, which the boys colored in, adding stickers and drawings. They pointed out all of the pictures they had drawn, which included fireworks and birds and bats (the animal kind). I LOVE everything about it. I'm going to keep it up on the wall forever.

Jack then told me, "Today is your birthday, so that means you get to do anything you want. I think we should pretend it's all our birthdays and then we should play video games." Of course.

So that was my birthday. Another year older - and I couldn't be happier.

Snippets

Grandpa: "Nathan, do you have any 'henweighs'?"

Nathan: "I have 57 henweighs!"

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Mom: "I love you, Jack."

Jack: "Well, I love you 350 miles per hour."

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Jack: "Mommy, can I play my recordian? I mean my marmomica?"

Mommy: "You mean your harmonica?"

Jack: "Yeah, that's what I said."

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Nathan: "Before I put on my underwear, I always check to make sure there's no poop in there."

Semantics

Nathan: "Why do they call these seats 'bleachers'?"

Byron: "I'm not sure. That's just what they're called."

Nathan: "Kind of like they call us humans, I guess."

Summer

Yesterday, I got to spend a wonderful summer day with my boys. Byron was golfing with a friend, so we declared it to be a "Mommy and Her Boys Day." We went to the pool, we rode bikes in the park, we got ice cream cones, we played games at home. It was great. It was about 90% fun and 10% whining. An extremely good day.

I've been so down lately, wanting to do more summer activities with the boys. So this was a much-needed day of fun for us all. Yay for summer. I'll be sad to see it end. School is starting up again all too soon (although at least our school, pre-school that is, will not be starting until after Labor Day, which is the way it should be in my opinion) and then next week, my boys are going to be off to college. Or at least that's how it feels. Time moves all too fast.

Stunted Growth

I marked the boys' height on the wall next to the hall closet again the other day. I hadn't marked them for about two months, and yet, despite my best efforts to stunt their growth by serving them only four different types of food, they have grown another inch taller. How is this possible? All parenting literature tells me that if children don't eat a variety of healthy foods, they won't grow. And yet, according to the wall in my hallway, they've grown at least four inches over the last year.

Could it be the hormones in the milk? Nope. We only serve them organic. (Unless the grocery store is out of organic milk - in which case the trade-off in wasting more gas to drive to the other grocery store to see if they have organic milk seems trite.)

I know I should just let this go, but it's a big source of my parenting guilt. The nutrition debate rages on - you know, where the experts say children need healthy foods in order to sustain their lives and yet somehow my generation lived on mac-and-cheese and kool-aid - and I just feel like I'm failing at it. We continue to offer new foods to the two growing-yet-still-short people in our house but are met with more resistance than acceptance. My friend Katie has a boy just a little older than my two and that child eats more than a grown man does. My two eat mostly bread, hamburger buns, hot dog buns, reduced-fat Cheezits (that's sort of healthy, right?), waffles, cereal, pretzels, fruit and baby carrots. And orange juice and milk. And water (does that count?). Nathan eats corn dogs (but not plain hot dogs, and certainly not a hot dog IN a hot dog bun). Jack eats cheese pizza (except when it looks "funny" according to his vague standards) and chicken nuggets (but only when shaped as dinosaurs and then only certain brands).

A few small recent victories:

• Both boys eat sushi!! But only California rolls, minus the avocado, and taken apart to their respective components: rice, cucumber, crab, no paper. Still, it's my excuse to get sushi take-out whenever possible.
• Jack tried one single, tiny bite of broccoli and declared it was like eating a tiny tree. He is not planning to eat more broccoli.
• Nathan and Jack both ate a leaf of spinach. They are very proud that they tried it but are not ready to try again.

So we'll keep on keeping on. I'm hoping now that they are 5, they'll be more receptive to trying new things. We'll see how that goes.

On a somewhat related note, do you think growing four inches in a year could be the reason they've been so cranky and not-fun lately? (Luckily, they are only cranky and not-fun for me and Byron, and occasionally Miss Jessica. For grandparents and friends, the boys are "delightful!", "no trouble at all! " and "so polite!" Whatever.) Four inches is a lot of bone-stretching in one year. Poor guys.

Birthday Boys

The boys have just returned from my mom's house. We've spent the week preparing for the Second Annual Big Kahuna Waterslide Birthday Party. This is a big deal, people. My tiny babies have turned 5 years old. I'm not sure how that's possible but it did happen. They went from chubby little toddlers to tall, skinny boys in a year. Last year, they still had round cheeks and pudgy bellies. This year, they are lean and mean (well maybe not mean.)

So happy birthday to my little guys. I'm a better person because you are part of my life. It's not easy to have two babies at once, but there's a part of me that feels you are even more special because of it. As I watch you grow together, I'm constantly amazed by your connection - and honestly, a little bit jealous. You have a way of looking at each other that just cracks you both up. I'm never quite in on the joke, but I'm happy to be around just the same. You've taught me more than I ever knew I would know - mostly about butts and farts and poop and boy body parts, but also about the stars and dreams and books and sports and love. It's a great journey and I can't wait to see what's next.

Just wanted to let you know: I'm so proud to be your mommy.

It's Nice to Be Wanted But...

This morning, Nathan came running down the hall, feet flying. His final destination was the bathroom. Then he backed up to my room, poked his head and said, "Mommy, when I call your name, come wipe my butt."

Sigh.

Laying Down the Law

Nathan: "Miss Jessica, get me some cereal."

MJ: "Nathan, you need to say 'please' when you ask for something."

Nathan: (long pause and long stare) "At my grandpa's house, I don't have to say 'please'."

MJ: "Well, this is not grandpa's house."

Graduation Day

Mommy: So tomorrow is our graduation party and we'll have to make sure you guys are wearing something nice for pictures.

Nathan: To make us handsome? Like something with buttons?

Spelling Bee

The other evening, completely out of the blue, Byron asks me, "Hey, did you ever talk to their teacher about their g-r-a-d-u-a-t-i-o-n?"

As I paused to decipher what the hell that spells, Nathan piped up, "Does that spell graduation?"

Crap. Our days of spelling are about over.